it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Houston, we have a squirter
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize