Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just gargled with NyQuil
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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