you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
