I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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