I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
