this beer tastes like vomit already
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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