I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
