we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
