in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
