So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
