Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
