talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
