so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
