I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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