Your tits are I can't wait for
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
