Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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