I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
