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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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