I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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