Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
