I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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