I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
