We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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