i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Duck Duck Cougar?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
