Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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