i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cut my penus on the lid.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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