I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
