If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize