therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
