Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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