I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
