: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
