How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
