Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
