Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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