After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
