I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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