Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
