Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
