I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
