Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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