Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
