Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
