what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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