just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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