What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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