To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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