i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
