took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
