The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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