I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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