just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
