At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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