chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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