Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
