I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize