I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I pour the whiskey from now on
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
