last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
