it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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