So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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