I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
