so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
