god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i drank out of a bidet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
