Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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