Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
