She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize