yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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