Too much gin, very little bucket
My pussy is not your playground.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
