i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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